The period of time when I was closest to what I thought was the perfect body I was VERY lean. The trendy name for it at the moment is shredded. I guess I was that. I have never gotten more compliments, more gushing (seriously, people gushed) about my physique...ever. BUT, inside I was wrecked. I was just on the cusp of getting divorced and having the life I had built collapse around me. I was scared and sad and trying to find my way. I was putting on a brave face but I was muscling through each day. I wasn't eating enough. The stress made it nearly impossible to keep down a full meal. And yet, what people saw was the very thing we all think we want to attain.
That was about 6 years ago. I am now softer, fuller, heavier, happier, calmer, healthier, more confident, more joyful, more present in my own life, more sure of what I want, more willing to show the cracks in the armor, more patient with myself. I wouldn't trade that for shredded. Ever.
Who the fuck cares about perfect.
Authentic is much more FUN!!
1 comment:
Maria,
I so admire and appreciate the tremendous wisdom and heart you share in this post. And having known you through both that time and now, I also believe that your external beauty mirrors the inside. Your light shines brighter and reaches farther when it is better fueled on the inside.
I also love the quote you shared. But I don't know that I agree with pairing it with the text. To me your post isn't about loving what is broken but rather about defining our beauty in a truer form. And ironically enough, those people that matter in our lives tend to see this beauty more than the other kind. So maybe it is allowing ourselves to see and feel what we successfully project outwardly
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