Lesson or Lemonade?

After reading yesterday's post my friend, Kerri, posed this excellent question...

"Do you think that fate/God doled out your slip and fall circumstances in an effort to have you learn from the experience?

Or do you think the circumstances just happened and you are taking the opportunity to learn a lot about yourself?

Let me start by saying that not a particularly religious person.  Spiritual for sure, but I am a lapsed Catholic, much to the chagrin of my lovely Aunt Mo, who I fear worries about my soul.  But never fear, my soul is just fine :-)  So in talking about God here, may I presume to say that it covers your God, my God, a higher power, Mother Earth or whatever power you believe in or pray to?  

I am someone who believes that everything happens for a reason.  And in spite of my mad frustration about my tortoise pace healing, I am actually happy that I hit my head.  I am the first one to joke that mine is especially hard, so whether you call it macho, or stubborn, or whatever...I often need a good crack to knock sense into me :-)

I have often found comfort in the idea that God has a plan (even though I often struggled to understand what it is).  This faith has carried me through some immensely challenging times.  I wonder if it is a coincidence that this discussion has come up on Easter Sunday....hmmmm.  I think not :-)

But I also believe we all have choices about how we react to things in life...the road bumps, the craters, the tidal waves.  And I think the most important moments in our lives are the ones in which we decide how we react to the road blocks.  Do we turn around and retreat, or do we find an alternate route?   These moments and choices speak volumes about our attitude and help to define our character.  

So my answer, dearest Kerri...is that for me, it is both.  God places learning opportunities before us, the ones we most need.  And then it up to us how we navigate those situations and how we choose to handle the challenge.  Maybe not always the smoothest path, but I am grateful for the opportunity for growth.

Bayside memories

I have been dealing with this head injury for 2 months.  Still not myself.  I was going to whine about my frustration and fear over when my body will heal allowing me to get back to doing all I want to do.  Then I learned a childhood friend from the old neighborhood is dying from a brain tumor.  He has just gone into hospice.  Huh.  

Life is precious.  He is leaving behind a wife and a young son.  He is too young.  We are too young.  Unfortunate that it takes such a sad occurrence to remind me of what is important.  We all need to value our life and our health and those we love...and try not to take what we have for granted.  Figure out what is really important in life.  Figure out where true happiness and contentment lies...and go after it.  What are you waiting for?

Trade-offs

Life is about trade-offs.  I know there are people who want me to believe I can have it all. And true maybe I don't always think big enough.  But I'm sorry...in many cases...it's a trade-off.

I own my own business.  That means I have quite a bit of autonomy...but I give up a steady paycheck and paid vacations.  I am single and live alone so I always get to choose what's for dinner and I am in charge of the remote, but I am also in charge of all the chores and bills, and my feet get cold on winter nights. I am not saying any one option is better than another, only that it is interesting to note that every option has some good points and some less desired ones. Like not working out. I'm not as lean.  So slighter softer.  Higher body fat means rounder belly and hips. But, my breasts are bigger!  Well, maybe just fuller, but still!  Guess every one of us gets to decide what trade-offs we want to live with ;)

Random guy at the bar

I'm single and occasionally I find myself at a bar solo.  This particular evening I didn't want to stay home but nobody was available to join me so I decided to take myself out for a wine and a bite.  This guy sits down next to me (and let me not keep you in suspense...this post is much less about the actual guy then about the conversation we had) and within 10 minutes we had managed to cover that I am divorced and why I am divorced, all the places he has lived, what is remarkable about his kids and what we each do for a living.  But then it started to get interesting.  He asks me for my 30-second elevator speech.

Now anyone who knows me could tell you that marketing and self promotion are not in my DNA.  Give me a person, product, cause, or business that I believe in and I will shout it from the rooftops, but somehow I am insanely uncomfortable doing that for myself.  The fact that I have been teaching hundreds of people in fitness classes for the last 15 years and only a fraction of them know I own a massage therapy business a mile down the road is an issue I will have to tease out in another post on another day.

Since I do own this business, I have, over the years, felt obligated to attend networking events and workshops to help me grow my client base. I remember being told by one "expert" that I need to have a 30-second elevator speech that would tell someone everything they needed to know about my business in that half minute. Seriously?   Ugh. 

So for a split second I got nervous that I was going to be tested on this elevator speech by my new friend from Minnesota sitting next to me at the bar.  But of course I already knew he wasn't the type to be interested in business marketing.

I inquired to his intent and he said he wanted the 30 second elevator speech on ME.  My life, my dreams, my desires. Yippee. Now that is fun!

I lit up.  He wanted to hear what excites me and what matters to me in life and relationships.  I realized that after some tough life events which led to deep soul searching I am able to talk for hours on the subject but also have become clear enough that I can easily and effortlessly nutshell my thoughts in 30 seconds.  Way cool.

That is my kind of elevator speech. 

What is the elevator speech of your life?  What gets you fired up and brings passion to your world? 

Slow Down, You Move too Fast

Taking time off, especially when it's unplanned, especially when I haven't "earned" it, is hard for me. I covered that the other day. However, once I do it, I so love the slower pace. Over and over I keep hearing that Simon & Garfunkel song in my head...

I am slowing down and appreciating, as a friend suggested, smelling the roses.  It feels healthier to me.  But how do we incorporate this into regular life?  Not feeling rushed?  Not constantly feeling like there is something we are supposed to be doing?  Is the idea of slowing down that of an era gone by, like the haircuts in the video?

I hope not but I am going to need to some help putting it into practice once I'm back from my sabbatical.

Today is Sunday...at least in the Americas (I am a little late for you over in NZ, Lisa)...good day to slow down, and feel some groovy! :-)

Sexy as...

What is sexy?

This is one of the questions that has been rolling around in my head the last six weeks.  What do I think is sexy?  In the past, if I had answered that question about myself, I definitely would have jumped to the physical body.  But now as I examine it more closely, I realize what I find sexy in others is not necessarily physical...

I think a man with a great smile is super sexy.  Someone with a playfulness behind his eyes.  A man who is confident, and has a little swagger without trying.  A man who is interested and interesting.  A man who is active because he likes adventure.  Who takes care of himself and has pride in his appearance.  Someone who knows his strengths but is humble.  That is sexy to me.  

And a sexy woman (yes, I think women are sexy) is someone who has a joy for life.  Who laughs and has a great smile.  Someone who owns her physical body and loves it (and this has nothing to do with size).  A woman who takes care of herself but is not overdone.  A woman who is not afraid to be confident and who knows what she wants in life.  That is sexy to me.  

Sensing a pattern here?  Nowhere in there is a 6-pack abs, or zero-percent body fat, or a person who in the gym all the time.  Of course, I am attracted to a fit body, but more so because it is a sign of a person who values themselves and their health.  And of someone that likes to move, be active, and explore new things. 

Can you picture that person who has a "perfect" body (whatever the hell that is) and yet is trying so hard or is so uncomfortable with themselves it is almost painful?  And standing next to that person is another who is perhaps not quite as fit but far more beautiful in their natural ease with themselves and enjoyment of life?  I know which one I want to talk to.  Interesting though that I would have said that for me to be sexy I would have to possess some version of that "perfect" body.  Hmmmm...if it doesn't matter to me when looking at others, why would I think it would be different when others are looking back at me?

So what do you find sexy in others?  And does it match the standard to which you hold yourself?

And I wonder why I hit my head...;)

New Jeans

The jeans I own no longer fit.  Yup.  You heard me.  Not the I-ate-a-little-too-much-this-weekend kind of snug.  They simply don't fit.  What the f**k?  As my friend, Brooke, jokingly reminded me, I don't leave a great margin for error in how I wear them, and I won't deny that.  But nevertheless, without workouts, I cannot get into any of the pairs in my closet.  So I had a choice.  I could will them to fit.  Ha!  I could keep trying them on and feeling badly about myself.  I could buy baggy tops to disguise the reality of the moment.  Or I could take a deep breath, acknowledge that it feels bad right now that I cannot maintain my figure as I would like until my health allows it, and buy something that fits and so I can feel good getting dressed to walk out into the world.  So I had a bit of a whine and pulled the trigger.  

Is there a bright side?  Well, I didn't die.  There is no scarlet A on my chest.  I am no longer uncomfortable when I get dressed to go out.  Nobody else in the world has any idea which jeans I am wearing anyway.  And guess what?  They don't care.  I still get the same reception from my friends when I arrive at the restaurant.  I am learning...slowly.