Unexpected positives

I didn't post yesterday because I was wondering if it is disrespectful to a person who is imminently dying for me to think about my own death, which at the moment is a more theoretical prospect.  I am thinking that if someone else's death makes me focus more keenly about how I want to continue living, then maybe that is a positive thing.  Not totally sure, but here I go.  

I get so caught up in certain small, insignificant things, that I often lose sight of the big picture.  I mean seriously, nobody is going to give a fuck how fit I was, what size jeans I wore, or even what I did for a living, once I am gone.  That certainly isn't what is etched in my brain when a loved one dies.  And I would never want that to be what anyone would notice or care about, so why am I so worried about it?  

Then that leads to think about what I would want people to remember.  I don't want to go so far as to talk about how my obituary would read...partially because that seems a bit cliché...and partially because that just seems kind of weird.  But talking more generally about purpose is probably along the same lines with less of the morbid overtones.  My wise friend and coach, Christopher, has challenged me to articulate my purpose.  And I have, at times, struggled with that notion.  But thinking about what I would want someone to remember about me, or what impression I aspire to leave behind, seems easier to me.  I hope the people I encounter along my journey will remember that I possessed a vibrancy for life.  That I loved with an open heart.  And that I inspired them...to do more than what they believed they could do...or to live with greater passion and authenticity.  I want people to remember my spirit and my joy for life that I shared genuinely and wholeheartedly.  

What started on Thursday as a somewhat sad post about a premature death is, for me, turning into a positive reminder about what really, truly matters in my life and how I move through the world.  

Thank you, Jason.  

Random guy at the bar

I'm single and occasionally I find myself at a bar solo.  This particular evening I didn't want to stay home but nobody was available to join me so I decided to take myself out for a wine and a bite.  This guy sits down next to me (and let me not keep you in suspense...this post is much less about the actual guy then about the conversation we had) and within 10 minutes we had managed to cover that I am divorced and why I am divorced, all the places he has lived, what is remarkable about his kids and what we each do for a living.  But then it started to get interesting.  He asks me for my 30-second elevator speech.

Now anyone who knows me could tell you that marketing and self promotion are not in my DNA.  Give me a person, product, cause, or business that I believe in and I will shout it from the rooftops, but somehow I am insanely uncomfortable doing that for myself.  The fact that I have been teaching hundreds of people in fitness classes for the last 15 years and only a fraction of them know I own a massage therapy business a mile down the road is an issue I will have to tease out in another post on another day.

Since I do own this business, I have, over the years, felt obligated to attend networking events and workshops to help me grow my client base. I remember being told by one "expert" that I need to have a 30-second elevator speech that would tell someone everything they needed to know about my business in that half minute. Seriously?   Ugh. 

So for a split second I got nervous that I was going to be tested on this elevator speech by my new friend from Minnesota sitting next to me at the bar.  But of course I already knew he wasn't the type to be interested in business marketing.

I inquired to his intent and he said he wanted the 30 second elevator speech on ME.  My life, my dreams, my desires. Yippee. Now that is fun!

I lit up.  He wanted to hear what excites me and what matters to me in life and relationships.  I realized that after some tough life events which led to deep soul searching I am able to talk for hours on the subject but also have become clear enough that I can easily and effortlessly nutshell my thoughts in 30 seconds.  Way cool.

That is my kind of elevator speech. 

What is the elevator speech of your life?  What gets you fired up and brings passion to your world?