Monday, July 7, 2014

What I miss the most

It is interesting to me that when all this started I thought I knew what would be the hardest pieces for me.  Especially at the beginning, I was unhinged by the notion that I would no longer be slim and fit...and what that would mean to my self-worth, or my overall appeal.  This is one of those "everything happens for a reason" events because although I will always struggle with that a bit, I have had the fortunate opportunity to prove to myself that I am, in fact, the same person regardless of my size or the definition in my arms.

So what is it I truly miss the most?  My strength.  The ability to do things for myself without having to think twice.  Or the confidence that although my skill in a particular sport or activity may not be the best, my body would carry me through.  I would not get wobbly halfway in.  I could always manage to run a 5k...not always the most pretty or the swiftest, but I knew I could get it done.  I could embark on a crazy ocean paddle race and trust that I would be able to finish, even though I have not yet mastered surfing my 12'6" raceboard.  

But, as my sister has repeatedly reminded me, we are made from hearty stock.  And I also know that my body has muscle memory and will happily (hopefully) remember all the training I have done and I will regain the strength I once possessed...and maybe even a little more.  

So, as I set to the task of exercising again, and starting to lift weights and retrain, I like that I know my strength, and what it represents to me, is far more important than seeing my abs.  

But lucky for me, they sort of go hand in hand.  


Lauren said...

Every time I encounter a setback I find I get a little stronger a lot faster than I expected which is at least one nice thing to look forward to :)

Christina said...

Hearty stock, baby! Love you and your hearty genes xoxo