Monday, April 28, 2014
Friday, April 25, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
The last few days have been frustrating to me. I should be better by now. Do I sound like a broken record yet? I mean c'mon...I took all that time off. I rested. I did nothing. But still my head is not right. I am easily fatigued, both physically and mentally. I want to will my brain to heal. To rush the process. But alas, I am reminded yet again, that all I can do is surrender to the healing process. I can choose to respect the brain that has served me so well for the last 43 years and give it the time it needs to regrow the neurons. It will not be on my predetermined schedule, despite the fact that I have adjusted said schedule a few times already. It will be what it will be.
When I first was injured, I was in denial about the pain, the severity of the injury. I pushed past what my body was trying to tell me. Worked when my head hurt, when I was exhausted. After all, I am tough. Macho, as a few have suggested. When I finally admitted I needed to rest in order to heal, I decided that would take 2 weeks (or a little less than 2 weeks after I attended to the last few clients appointments I didn't want to cancel). After that I will be better. Not so fast, Maria. Still not myself. But when? Why not yet?
After my chiropractor stopped just shy of an outright eye-roll, he suggested I stop "yelling" at my brain to heal (which is likely doing exactly the opposite of what I want). To fully surrender means to give up control. Surrender is scary, but perhaps, in a way, freeing. To just allow what needs to happen.
There is a striking parallel here to something that has been suggested to me for my life as a whole. Surrender. Surrender the plan. Surrender my tight hold on controlling the outcome. I do not know what the future will bring. I cannot control what happens. But then I think, why would I want to? At what point did I decide that my life would be better if I controlled everything? (that is yet another blog post).
No control, no plan. The wild and crazy ride strikes again.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Monday, April 21, 2014
I have been thinking a lot about empathy vs. sympathy. On the list of positive take aways from the slip and fall is that I feel it will help me have more of the former. My friend, Claudia, sent me this great video from the ever-fabulous Brené Brown...a quick, funny and poignant reminder of what each of us can do to be more empathetic. I have definitely been guilty of the "at least" :-)
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Saturday, April 19, 2014
I get so caught up in certain small, insignificant things, that I often lose sight of the big picture. I mean seriously, nobody is going to give a fuck how fit I was, what size jeans I wore, or even what I did for a living, once I am gone. That certainly isn't what is etched in my brain when a loved one dies. And I would never want that to be what anyone would notice or care about, so why am I so worried about it?
Then that leads to think about what I would want people to remember. I don't want to go so far as to talk about how my obituary would read...partially because that seems a bit cliché...and partially because that just seems kind of weird. But talking more generally about purpose is probably along the same lines with less of the morbid overtones. My wise friend and coach, Christopher, has challenged me to articulate my purpose. And I have, at times, struggled with that notion. But thinking about what I would want someone to remember about me, or what impression I aspire to leave behind, seems easier to me. I hope the people I encounter along my journey will remember that I possessed a vibrancy for life. That I loved with an open heart. And that I inspired them...to do more than what they believed they could do...or to live with greater passion and authenticity. I want people to remember my spirit and my joy for life that I shared genuinely and wholeheartedly.
What started on Thursday as a somewhat sad post about a premature death is, for me, turning into a positive reminder about what really, truly matters in my life and how I move through the world.
Thank you, Jason.
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Life is precious. He is leaving behind a wife and a young son. He is too young. We are too young. Unfortunate that it takes such a sad occurrence to remind me of what is important. We all need to value our life and our health and those we love...and try not to take what we have for granted. Figure out what is really important in life. Figure out where true happiness and contentment lies...and go after it. What are you waiting for?
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Now anyone who knows me could tell you that marketing and self promotion are not in my DNA. Give me a person, product, cause, or business that I believe in and I will shout it from the rooftops, but somehow I am insanely uncomfortable doing that for myself. The fact that I have been teaching hundreds of people in fitness classes for the last 15 years and only a fraction of them know I own a massage therapy business a mile down the road is an issue I will have to tease out in another post on another day.
Since I do own this business, I have, over the years, felt obligated to attend networking events and workshops to help me grow my client base. I remember being told by one "expert" that I need to have a 30-second elevator speech that would tell someone everything they needed to know about my business in that half minute. Seriously? Ugh.
So for a split second I got nervous that I was going to be tested on this elevator speech by my new friend from Minnesota sitting next to me at the bar. But of course I already knew he wasn't the type to be interested in business marketing.
I inquired to his intent and he said he wanted the 30 second elevator speech on ME. My life, my dreams, my desires. Yippee. Now that is fun!
I lit up. He wanted to hear what excites me and what matters to me in life and relationships. I realized that after some tough life events which led to deep soul searching I am able to talk for hours on the subject but also have become clear enough that I can easily and effortlessly nutshell my thoughts in 30 seconds. Way cool.
That is my kind of elevator speech.
What is the elevator speech of your life? What gets you fired up and brings passion to your world?
Sunday, April 13, 2014
I hope not but I am going to need to some help putting it into practice once I'm back from my sabbatical.
Today is Sunday...at least in the Americas (I am a little late for you over in NZ, Lisa)...good day to slow down, and feel some groovy! :-)
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
I hit my head. Ok, I know I should rest. And I was convinced not to exercise. But take time off from work? What? I "can't". I "shouldn't". Why not? Some sense of obligation? To my clients? To some over developed work ethic? Maybe an unwillingness to prioritize myself? Or maybe I am just so tough that I can push through anything? Is there an emoticon for eye rolling? ;)
Have I mentioned I am a very slow learner? Very belatedly I have decided to take time off from work and rest my noggin. A very wise woman said to me last week that I should take care of myself...nobody is going to do it for me. So simple. Yet funny that it took me so many weeks to give myself permission to take care of my health in this way.
My friend Meredith and I are keeping a list of all the lessons being learned from this slip and fall event!
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
I often forget to take smart advice, whether it be from me or others. I need lots of reminders. I am lucky to have friends who send me gentle reinforcements often. One of my favorites was from my sister, Francesca, who wrote in a card to me a few years ago that although she knew I was going through a difficult time, I was moving forward with grace. I love that. It resonated so deeply within me that I felt it would guide me through most any challenge in life.
But I still forget at times. Hell, I even have it tattooed on my wrist and I forget.
Grace. I want to always remember that no matter what happens I will move forward with grace. Life hands each of us many challenges. Some big, some seemingly small. But I believe it is how we handle these that speaks to the strength of our character. So it is not that I am telling myself that none of this should bother me. But finding the positive in the situation, using it to learn something about myself. Sharing my journey so it may help another feel less alone. To me, this is grace. And I am glad I remembered.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
So I want to suggest you think about how this applies to you. Please never take things in your life for granted. What would you do if today were the last time you had the opportunity to do something you love? My wish for you is that you figure it out without something having to be taken away in order to learn the lesson.