Slowly disappearing

I went to a family meeting recently at the home where my mother resides.  She has Alzheimer's.  She has been living with it, or depending on your vantage point, dying from this disease for over a dozen years.  First she just seemed disinterested in the conversation.  Then she started being moody in a way she never had before.  It progressed from there.  Thinking she needed to go home when she already was.  Getting confused about what day it is.  She hasn't known my name since about 2009.  She doesn't know I am her daughter.  Until recently, she at least knew that she knew me, and was mostly happy to see me.  Now there is rarely any recognition at all.  She doesn't really sing much anymore.  She doesn't walk the halls like she used to.  People offer to take pictures of us but I say no, because this woman is not my mother.  There is no light behind her eyes.  Her smile has changed, her eyes don't twinkle, she no longer laughs.

I realize we don't get to decide how we die, but damn, if I have any say in it, this will not be it!