Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Our Reaction to Things

A man I was recently dating chose to end things badly.  Wasn't a shock that it was ending...the writing was on the wall.  But the way he handled it wasn't good.  Without going into gory detail, let's just say he was not the consummate gentleman he fancies himself to be.  It was poor form, but I didn't really get angry.  A good friend of mine asked why I wasn't more angry about it?  She felt I should be and couldn't quite understand how I could be so calm, and understanding.

It got me thinking about how each of us reacts to things.  Sort of like the saying I am sure many of you have heard...

I don't want to meet weak or unkind behavior with anger or vengeance.  Not sure I would be wrong to be more indignant.  At the end of the day, that reaction wouldn't likely change who he is, but it might change how I feel inside.  Sure I am disappointed, but I can either feel sympathy for his shortcoming, and turn to focus on my life, or I can sit and stew over what he did.  I chose the former.  Not sure there is a right and wrong here.  Just something I'm thinking about.

I think I aspire to treat others the way I want to be treated.  And that includes how I react when someone does something dumb, or selfish, or lame.  Could one argue that this is me "turning the other cheek" as my mother repeatedly told me to do in elementary school when I was being picked on by the mean girl 2 doors down?  Hell, no!!  Then I ignored her, thinking that was the best option since my mother said so.  Well, it wasn't.  I should have stood up for myself and at least been able to say something.  But now I know I can stand up for myself (as I did this past week) and point out someone else's bad behavior and call them out without stooping to their level of mean or unthoughtful.

But who knows...maybe when someone does something meaner, or more hurtful, I will be singing a different tune.

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