I have a friend who has been having marital issues. Among other things, he talked about feeling disconnected, and has been completely disheartened about the relationship. He feels abandoned because from his perspective everything comes before him. I feel like I have learned a lot from my divorce...about what I did wrong and what I want to do differently in the future. I'm certainly no expert, but there are a few things that stand out clearly to me. I told him he and his wife have a choice. To continue to focus on and fuel the hurt that has been present. To decide to end their marriage and look elsewhere for what they feel is lacking. Or they could decide to walk towards each other. Decide they want to work at mending the hurt and broken trust and closing the distance between them. To choose each other and make efforts every day to do that.
I realize it is not that simple, but the idea of choosing to walk towards each other, every single day, even while being strong, independent, unique individuals is one that resonates deeply with me and something I can aspire to in the next phase of my journey.