Tuesday, May 20, 2014

insecure...humble...self-assured... confident...bold...arrogant

Should these words be on a continuum?  And are they in the right "order"?  Are there some of these that are positive, or negative, in what connotation?  Perhaps the answer differs depending on who you ask.  

I feel like I got a lot of messages growing up about how I should behave and how I should be in the world.

Children should be seen and not heard
Do what you are told and be a good girl
Don't call attention to yourself

And I don't remember if I was told this in so many words, but there was also a message that I should not be too confident, and definitely never bold...heaven forbid conceited.  So how that translated in my head was that was it is appropriate to be humble but not really ok to be confident.  As if that is a bad thing?  I would say that the first 3 on the continuum were "allowed" and the last 3 were definitely not ok.  It wasn't ok to self proclaim any qualities or strengths.  That would be unladylike.  Presumptuous.  Why does the word inappropriate keep coming into my head...any of you fellow McDermott clan people know?

As I have aged (or let's say matured) and given myself permission to evaluate what I was told (rather than follow it blindly) I realize do not agree with the above assessment.  I think the middle of this continuum is the preferred for me.  The far left doesn't serve me and the far right is not in keeping with the type of person I aspire to be.  

Self-assured is a good thing for us all to be.  Be sure of who you are and what you are capable of.  Confident is great.  And you should be confident in your attributes and your skills and your talents.  Confident in your beauty, your worth, your value in the world.  Be confident in the things within you that still need work.  

And by the way, what the hell is a "good girl"?

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